Well, we got approved to start stage 2 of the adoption process with the North West Concurrent Planning team, we are by no means close to getting approved, they want us to get our BMI’s down a bit and a lot could go wrong in between now and approval panel, so we will keep having the meetings with our social worker Helen, and keep our fingers crossed that they find us good enough to parent a child.
I wanted to write this post to our future child, I feel it’s a more positive output right now as I’m feeling unsure about so much, but the only thing I am sure about is how much I want a child and the love that is already in my heart for our little one, so here goes;
“Hello Peanut! Well, as I am writing this we are working really hard to get you home. We have around 4-5 months to wait before a panel of proffessionals decides if we can take you home with us, and then we will work with your birth parents to decide the best possible option for you. If it’s decided that your birth parents can’t take care of you then we would be the most happy people on earth to be your parents.
We talk about you all the time, we are not bothered if you are a girl or a boy (although the agency want us to choose) We talk about what we want to buy you, what school you might go to and we wonder what kind of personality you will have. If you will be like me or mummy, or someone completely different.
So far we have bought you a pram, a steam steriliser for your bottles, blankets, clothes and we have started decorating your room (It’s cream, grey and yellow) We still need a baby car seat but we have been told you might come with one of these, and we also need a drop side cot so me and mummy can both pick you up and give you cuddles whenever you want or need them.
More than anything I want you to be happy, confident and loved, we don’t have a lot of money, our hearts are too big to ever make a lot of money, but we have lots and lots of love, patience, time and warmth. We want you to know that you mean everything to us and we love you more than anything else in the world.
Please know this, I will never, ever give up on finding my way to you, I can never say for sure how you will come into our life but I know in my heart that you are close. I cannot wait to meet you, I will always try my best to be the best mum I can be and I hope you know that even though you may not have had a straightforward or ‘average’ start in life, you do have 2 parents who are excited and getting ready for your arrival into our lives, and we love you so much already. You may not be growing in my womb but you are growing in my mind, my heart and my life xx”